⚔ How Smokey Fights — Combat Flow

⚔ How Smokey D. Ass Fights — Combat Flow Your Turn Track These See card library for full tracking. Key Rulings & Decisions • 1 Check Spotlight Charges check 2 per Long Rest. Maximum 3 total ever. At 0 charges: flavor only — zero mechanical impact. Don't roll for anything. • 2 With a charge — choose one: Assist / Ability / Moment Assist: Advantage on an ally's CHA-based roll · Smokey Ability: spend 1 charge for an ability effect · Smokey Moment™: DM approval required • 3 Off-Key Encouragement (1 charge) bonus action Choose one: +1d4 to an ally's next roll / Advantage on a minor check / remove minor fear or hesitation. Drawback: encouragement is incorrect, poorly timed, or emotionally confusing. Triggers mandatory Gag Check. • 4 Legendary Bit — if Gag Check rolls a 6 cannot be forced DM chooses outcome: party gains Advantage on all checks briefly / scene shifts in party's favor / unexpected narrative success. Even Smokey doesn't know how it worked. • Spotlight Charges DM-awarded only 2/LR · max 3 • Gag Check mandatory on Off-Key Encouragement • Cannot be primary roller on major social checks — Assist only • Cannot solve encounters or boss situations — if attempted, effect becomes Assist + mandatory Gag Check

🌀 Haki

>Haki No Haki Smokey is a donkey. Haki is not available. This is final. <div class="section-title"

📋 Your Rules

See character sheet for ruling details.

🃏 Cards — Click to View Full Size

11 cards · click any to expand

Smokey D. Ass — Core Companion CardSmokey D. Ass — Core Companion Card
Rambling Wisdom — Smokey AbilityRambling Wisdom — Smokey Ability
Wandering Minstrel Pack — Smokey GearWandering Minstrel Pack — Smokey Gear
Background Chaos — Smokey PassiveBackground Chaos — Smokey Passive
Brayshamisen — Smokey WeaponBrayshamisen — Smokey Weapon
Off-Key Encouragement — Smokey AbilityOff-Key Encouragement — Smokey Ability
Legendary Bit — Smokey SpecialLegendary Bit — Smokey Special
Wandering Minstrel Pack — Full ReferenceWandering Minstrel Pack — Full Reference

🛡 Gear — Current Loadout

See gear details.

⚙ Gear & Abilities

>Gear & Abilities Hooves — Attack ATK: 1d8+2 bludgeoning. On hit: target makes DC 11 STR save or is knocked prone. Silver Tongue — Passive When you make a Persuasion or Deception check, treat any d20 roll of 9 or lower as a 10. Always on. Unsettling Words — Bonus Action Expend 1 Bardic Inspiration die. Choose one creature you can see within 60 ft. That creature must subtract the number rolled from the next saving throw it makes before the start of your next turn. Bardic Inspiration — 4/Long Rest (d6) Grant a d6 to an ally as a Bonus Action. They can add it to one ability check, attack roll, or saving throw within 10 minutes. Spotlight System — Core Spotlight Charges: 2/Long Rest. Spend 1 charge to activate an ability, grant CHA-based Advantage (assist only), or perform a Smokey Moment (DM-approved). At 0 charges: flavour only. Zero mechanical impact. Hard rules: Smokey cannot be the primary roller in major social checks. Cannot solve encounters. Cannot replace another player's role. Gag Check — Mandatory on Impact Whenever Smokey meaningfully impacts a scene, roll 1d6: 1: Catastrophic Misread — worsens the situation. 2: Social Backfire. 3: Weird Success — complication added. 4: Sloppy Success — draws unwanted attention. 5: Clean Success. 6: Legendary Bit — DM chooses exceptional outcome. Rambling Wisdom — 1 Charge Grant Advantage on a CHA-based roll (assist only). Smokey must deliver a long, confusing, irrelevant story first. Triggers Gag Check. Unsettling Presence — 1 Charge Target NPC suffers Disadvantage on Insight checks and social resistance. If Gag Check fails: target becomes hostile or offended. Off-Key Encouragement — 1 Charge Choose one: +1d4 to next roll, Advantage on a minor check, or remove minor fear/hesitation. The encouragement will be wrong, badly timed, or emotionally confusing. Triggers Gag Check. Background Chaos — Passive (0 Charges) NPCs always react unpredictably to Smokey's presence. He may insert himself into scenes. Minor chaos possible at a

⚓ Ship Role — Mascot / Bard

⚓ Ship Role — Cabin Boy Crew Role: Cabin Boy Role Ability — Jack of All Trades: Accustomed to doing a bit of everything on the ship, you can gain Advantage on any ability check related to routine ship tasks — mopping the deck, climbing rigging, carrying supplies, running messages, fetching ammunition. In a naval engagement this means running errands between stations under fire with Advantage on everything it takes to do so. PP Ability — Quick Learner: Spend 1 Pirate Prestige Point to temporarily gain the benefit of one feature from another crew role that you have observed in action. This effect lasts for 1 hour. You cannot mimic Captain, First Mate, or Artillerist features. In naval combat this means you can temporarily function as a backup Doctor, Navigator assistant, or Helmsman support if a station needs coverage. Your Role in Naval Combat Station: Wherever chaos lives. You are the crew's connective tissue in a naval fight. What you actually do: Naval combat creates a dozen small problems simultaneously — a line needs cutting, ammunition needs running to the cannons, a crew member is down and needs someone to drag them clear, a boarding ladder needs kicking away before enemies climb it. These are all Jack of All Trades checks, and you have Advantage on all of them. You are the person who handles everything the named crew members are too busy to handle. Spotlight Charge in naval combat: A Gag Check at a meaningful moment changes something nobody expected. The enemy boarding party suddenly has to deal with Smokey. A cannonball ricochets in an impossible direction. Something Smokey does — inexplicably — helps. This is your naval combat signature. Message running: Finn at the helm and Bon below decks can't talk to each other during a fight. You carry information between stations. This sounds minor. During a crisis it is not minor. What to prepare before a naval engagement: Know where every station is — helm, engine room, bow, crow's nest, cannon positions Eat a temp

🎭 Smokey At The Table — Role & Identity

🎭 Smokey At The Table — Role & Identity Smokey is Bon's character — a donkey with a hard cap of Bard 3 that will never be raised, a bounty of ฿69,420 that will never change, and 2 Spotlight Charges per Long Rest. At 0 charges he has zero mechanical impact. The Legendary Bit cannot be forced — the DM controls it completely, and the moment you try to engineer it, it stops being one. The play is to commit fully to the bit. Nobody will be able to explain it afterward. The pipe stays lit. What To Expect At The Table ◆ At 0 Spotlight Charges: just be a donkey. No rolls, no checks, pure flavor. Don't attempt mechanical contributions — it won't work. ◆ Cannot be primary roller on major social checks or solve boss encounters. Attempting either forces an Assist + mandatory Gag Check. ◆ Off-Key Encouragement (1 charge) ALWAYS triggers a mandatory Gag Check. The drawback is the design — the encouragement is wrong, poorly timed, or emotionally confusing. ◆ Legendary Bit = natural 6 on a Gag Check. DM decides outcome. Stop trying to force it.

📖 Timeskip Arc

The Treasurer of Mellowhaven

It began with a fish.

Smokey arrived in Mellowhaven on a Tuesday — or what passed for Tuesday in a port town where most people had lost track of the week — with a pipe that needed tobacco and a pack that needed restocking and no particular plan beyond those two things. He was not looking for trouble. He was looking for dried goods at a reasonable price, which in Mellowhaven was a more complicated proposition than it sounded, because Mellowhaven had a governance problem.

The previous Treasurer had fled with the trade fund fourteen days before Smokey arrived. The Acting Governor — a man named Cresthal who wore his authority like clothing that didn't quite fit — was in the process of conducting an emergency financial summit in the town hall. The emergency financial summit had been going for six days without resolution, because everyone in Mellowhaven with an opinion about civic finance had been invited, and it turned out that was most of Mellowhaven.

Smokey wandered in to get out of the rain.

He found a seat at the back, lit his pipe, and listened. Not with particular interest — he was waiting for the rain to stop — but he was listening, which put him ahead of most of the room, where people were primarily waiting for other people to stop talking so they could talk. The problem, as far as he could gather, was that the trade fund had been misappropriated in a specific and recoverable way that nobody was willing to say out loud because saying it out loud would require acknowledging that three of the current room's most prominent citizens had facilitated it.

He was not a political animal. He was not an economist. He was a donkey with a pipe that had finally found its tobacco.

He raised one hoof.

The story he told lasted forty-five minutes and was, by objective measure, about clouds. It concerned a specific weather pattern he had allegedly observed while sailing through a stretch of water he described in navigational terms that sounded authoritative and were entirely invented. The weather pattern, per the story, had caused a very similar financial situation in a port whose name he couldn't remember precisely. The resolution of that situation had involved a public accounting by the three parties responsible, because the alternative — as the story demonstrated through a long digression about the structural integrity of ships in crosswinds — was worse for everyone, including the three parties.

The room was quiet when he finished.

One of the three prominent citizens cleared his throat and began to speak.

The accounting took four hours. The fund was recoverable within a fortnight. Two of the three citizens paid it back; the third left town, which was also a resolution of a kind.

Cresthal looked at Smokey when it was over with the expression of a man who had just watched something happen that he couldn't explain. "How did you know?"

Smokey considered this. "About what?"

"About the three of them."

"I didn't," Smokey said, which was entirely true. He'd been talking about clouds.

What happened next was a failure of institutional imagination. Mellowhaven, grateful and slightly embarrassed by its own gratitude, held an emergency vote on who should hold the Treasurer position until proper elections could be organized. The vote was not supposed to be for Smokey. It became for Smokey somewhere in the middle when someone pointed out that the only person in the room who had no financial interest in the outcome was the one who had arrived this morning and didn't appear to know what town he was in.

He received eleven votes. This was a plurality.

He held the position for nine days. During those nine days, he established the trade fund repayment schedule, mediated two disputes about dock usage rights, and accidentally acquired a reputation for financial wisdom that spread to three neighboring islands through the mechanism of people telling stories that were more flattering than the source material.

The Marine patrol ship that picked up the Cipher Pol report fourteen days later filed it under local governance anomaly and noted that no further action appeared warranted.

He was gone by then. He'd been gone on day ten, when the proper Treasurer candidate had been identified and the elections were scheduled and there was nothing left that required him specifically.

He did not take the title with him. It didn't work that way. But the reputation preceded him through three islands and eventually filtered back through Marine correspondence channels to the crew's general area, where someone would eventually read a report that said subject: Smokey D. Ass and wonder how any of this was real.

The child in the fishing village came a month later — a girl, seven years old, who hadn't spoken since something had happened that the village didn't discuss with outsiders. Smokey stayed two weeks because the dried fish in that village was genuinely excellent and the weather was favorable and there was a comfortable spot on the pier that got afternoon sun.

He didn't do anything, specifically. He was there. He played the Brayshamisen badly each evening, which the village tolerated with the resigned patience of people who had dealt with worse. He told stories. He ate fish. He was a donkey on a pier with a pipe and a pack full of things that had been given to him by people who needed less than they thought.

On the evening of the thirteenth day, the girl sat down next to him on the pier.

On the morning of the fourteenth day, she said something to her father. He didn't hear what it was. He was already breaking camp.

He was gone by the time the village noticed the change.

He never mentioned it to anyone. It didn't require mentioning. It had happened and that was sufficient and some things were only valuable if they stayed the size they were.

He walked up the gangplank at reunion. Sat on the deck. Said something in the tone of a man who had been away for a weekend.

Nobody asked where he'd been.

Bon was very glad to see him. Didn't say so.

Smokey knew.

The pipe — Viktor's pipe, the new one with brass fittings and purple smoke — was already lit before he sat down. Viktor had spent three weeks on it. It was just a pipe. Smokey had not broken the previous one. Viktor had simply wanted to make it, and the reasons people make things are their own business.

The pipe stayed lit.

That, in the end, was the whole story.